FEAR, PTSD, and the Abused Woman (Part 1 of Fear) (2 Tim. 1:7)

Have you ever lived with fear? Real fear! The fear that makes your heart race, your hands shake, and makes you want to run and hide. The fear where you are constantly looking over your shoulder. The fear where your eyes search across parking lots looking for certain vehicles before you stop. The fear that even a phone ringing with a certain number on caller ID will send you into a panic. Panic! That’s the name. A fear so intense that a panic response is triggered by something that most people would not even think about…Followed by uncontolled periods of crying…
Most people have not experienced this feeling.. its a feeling of being out of control of your own bodys responses. Many would not even give something a second thought, but an abuse victim knows. They may see something moved outside where they knew they didnt put it or something at their door for no explained reason. But they know…they know that their abuser has been watching, waiting, and lurking outside their homes.

Crazy? Some people may think so and sometimes the victims thinks so too. But this is the response resulting after abuses, after death threats, and all the traumas that the victim has endured. Some therapist call it “post-traumatic stress disorder”. Some may call them depressed. However, the victim knows! She has seen him lose control and attack her and she avoids it at all cost. Her responses are totally involuntary..its a fear that triggers a panic response. In fact, statistics show that more women suffer from PTSD from abuse, than the soldiers fighting in a war. I know how consuming this fear is. I lived with it. I can also tell you that God heals and He delivers from evil. I can also tell you that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Tim.1:7) I thank God for healing me!

77 thoughts on “FEAR, PTSD, and the Abused Woman (Part 1 of Fear) (2 Tim. 1:7)

    • It sure is… I knew that I had to include it when I saw it. That fear is overwhelming and I would never want anyone to have to live with that…. I should have waited to make it a daily prompt…FEAR VS FLIGHT. That is exactly what it is. Blessings

    • I know.. Then I got a video on facebook today about Patrick Stewart speaking out about domestic violence in honor of his mother who was abused…as well as speaking out about PTSD in because of his father who was a soldier and had PTSD resulting in domestic violence in their household… I think that is great, but I bet many have not seen the stats on PTSD in abused women.
      Also, let me know what you think about the other 2 posts on FEAR that I posted today. I have been crying because of some of the comments. BLESS YOU SIS!

  1. Been there… Bless you for explaining. I’ve been through PTSD and I understand exactly what you’ve just described. It doesn’t come in normal daily life, but believe me, those who have suffered this way are the mightiest and strongest. Even if, unfortunately, no one can see it. Your strength is palpable x

    • Thank you so much for following me. The strenth that I have is in Christ. He rescued me from abuse and has called me to speak out, He has healed me of the PTSD that counselors say is not curable. THAT FEAR IS PARALYZING and no victim should have to suffer that…Unfortunately, no one understands unless they have been there. Portions of my book that is coming out in August will address this fear and PTSD. Hopefully, more people will understand! Blessings!

      • It would be great to learn how to get rid of PTSD. I just found this website. I really need the encouragement of others who understand right now

      • Hi Stephanie! I totally understand that fear. It is a consuming fear from the wounds of trauma. Many people don’t understand that abuse victims can have PTSD and make victims feel that they are blowing things out of proportion… But I have been there. I know! And, I can also tell you that I spent years off and on in counseling. I cried a million tears and would suddenly have severe anxiety attacks, shaking with fear with the slightest trigger, always watching over my shoulder because I was told that he would kill me one day. However, I grabbed onto the only Truth I could find because I had lived a life of being totally deceived. God is Truth. God is Love. As I held onto God, He started healing me and revealing things to me. He protected me. I moved to put some distance between me and my ex and the healing increased. I know that God is the answer. He healed me and He will heal others… Just grab onto Him. I read my Bible and claimed every Word of healing for my own… No elaborate prayers are needed. I claimed healing in Jesus’ name and I received it. I will be praying for you, my friend. May the Peace of God touch you like a consuming fire that you will know His undeniable Presence and hold onto Him… in Jesus’ name.. Amen. God bless you!

  2. Well written, you nailed it. It is not a nice life to live, always afraid, always on alert. Shame on the abuser for forcing that on an innocent person and child. And I agree, those stats are heartbreaking!
    God bless you and stay strong!

    • Thanks so much for following. That level of fear is consuming and no one should have to live like that. Another problem is that people just think that the victim is crazy or “lost it”. They don’t realize that just like soldiers in a battle, these victims have been in a battle too. I have a book coming out in Auguse which will hopefully give more people insight into the lives of victims of abuse and bring more understanding. Blessings to you…

  3. Reblogged this on whatlifeteachesmeeveryday and commented:
    I follow this wonderful blog, my heart aches for the writers journey, I can relate to so much I read here, and this posting has reached deep within and I can relate to each and every word, for myself and my child. God bless you and may He strengthen you each and every day.

    • Oh my God. You have me crying now. Thanks for the reblog–my first! I did not know what that symbol meant when I saw it. Thank you for following and enjoying my blog. I never wanted to do this, much less write an entire book about abuse and my story. But I had to follow what God told me to do. I know that He is mobilizing an army to bring awareness, understanding, and compassion to victims of abuse and to fight for them in prayer. I pray for each victim and that what God has done for me, He will do for all….Thank you again and GOD BLESS YOU!!!

  4. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Fight or Flight?…it goes back to Fear | The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

  5. Pingback: FEAR NO MORE (Part 3 of Fear) (Isaiah 41:10 NKJV) | The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

  6. What a fantastic post. I read comments & am in %100 agreement God is raising up an army against abuse. The Spirit of God is sweeping the land, asking “Do You Need To Tell?”

    I am answering this call with you. I feel strong, encouraged and “seasoned”. I’m ready to do battle. I have, in prayer, for last 25 years. I have prayed for 25 years & been what I consider a “secret weapon”. There are few full moons I have not wept & wailed before God on behalf of the victims I know are made in ritualistic abuse. The Bible says “God is not a respecter of persons”, so as I prayed, I prayed for all. I felt it was part of my calling as a Christian & a person who had the knowledge of ritualistic abuse. I would like to reach out to those few, if you know of any.

    Thank you for answering the call and this is a fantastic blog. I’m very thankful I re-blogged. This is an ongoing conversation if you feel up to it.

    Sorry, I kind of thread jacked. I can delete if you would like. I feel like I’m just getting to know my fellow warriors. XOXO

    • I thank God for you and others like you who feel the same that GOD IS MOBILIZING an ARMY.. I am so new to this blog and it just breaks my heart to read all of the hurt, wounded people who live in darkness when they don’t need to.,,Also, I don’t know what you mean about ‘THREAD JACKED”???
      I can tell you that I write every day what I feel the LORD telling me to write and you don’t have to delete anything on my account.. I am still learning the terminology so please excuse me. I just keep trying to walk in obedience. Please watch out for my book. I think it will help you and many others. I would love to continue to communicate. Oh, and I do not know anyone who was in ritualistic abuse per sec. I can tell you that there are many groups out there that don’t know that they are involved in “ritualistic abuse” and invite a demonic realm into their lives. I just pray for all victims of any and every kind of abuse. Even if we do not know who or where they are, God does!! Keep in touch!! Blessings to you!!!!!!

  7. Felt the need to pray for you now for God to keep you strong and protect you from all attacks of the enemy. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy… BUT THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD–THE BLOOD OF CHRIST! PUT ON THE ARMOR OF GOD AND STAND STRONG. You have knowledge that the enemy does not want exposed. But GOD is calling forth HIS army and you have a testimony that many do not and people need to know about it. Ephesians 6:11 is my prayer for you now…” Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Remember, we do not battle against flesh and blood. I wil continue to pray for you. Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing… My new friend, stay strong! and many blessings to you….

  8. Reblogged this on The Green Room and commented:
    Too many weak minded “Christian” men run their houses in fear. They control their wives and children by manipulating and twisting the Holy Word of God to suit their selfish desires. They demand respect when they have done nothing to earn it. You should not expect honor when you act dishonorably.

  9. You know my counselor told me recently that I have complex post traumatic stress disorder. It was such a relief to discover that I am not going crazy despite what I would call some crazy responses to situations. Knowledge is key to freedom. Though it cost all you have, pursue knowledge.

    • Amen… That is exactly right!! Living with PTSD is no fun and I thank God that He has healed me. My book will be out in August and I hope that you will read it. It addresses PTSD in it. People think we are crazy but we are not. God bless you and thanks for following me.

  10. Yes, I can relate to this, although they didn’t have the name PTSD when I was sorting out my issues. Wish our abusers knew and cared how much their abuse would impact our lives for years.

  11. This information is so invaluable. It is good to see it out on the web, easy to access and understand. My mother worked with Domestic Violence advocacy when I was growing up and made sure it was always apart of the family consciousness. As with so many other issues in our culture today I think that it is precisely because we have allowed this topic to be undiscussed that it has not been handled in a way that truly honors God or women as the co-image bearers that they are.

  12. Powerful experience, to read your words, listen to your heart, and to consider what you are about, and what your blog is about. Truth can be be so, so, so, significant in its applicability to where we are at … today, and also our stores. The reminder of God’s “equipping” … that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power – love – a sound mind. And the redemptive tension i the reality of fear, the reality of one sometimes questioning the soundness of their own mind, and as individuals we sometimes ask “Where is love?” I am looking forward to following your blog. Keep writing; and therefore, keep speaking hope and freedom into the lives of your readers. I will re-blog this. And, by the way, thank you for visiting Wilder Man on Rolling Creek. Have a good weekend.

  13. This is all so true. Again, I can identify with all of those feelings. The only additional symptom that I had during that time in my life was spending involuntary moments in the restroom that resulted in an unhealthy weight loss. Thanks for caring and for sharing.

    • I am so sorry that you have had to suffer through this also. So many people do not understand this and “blame” the victim for over-reactiing.in their fears.. This also is so wrong and unfair to victims…

  14. My therapist called me “hyper-vigilant” because I shared with her the fear I live with; I double lock my doors, make sure windows are closed and locked, always, always look in the back seat of my car before getting in to make sure no one is in there, I don’t like people waling behind me, I don’t like going out at night or when dark alone and list goes on. I looked up hyper-vigilant and here is what it said: Hypervigilance is an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats. Sounds like fear to me, but it was nice of her to try and say it in a way that sounded better.

    • I lived with that hyper-vigilance. It was part of the PTSD that I lived with from my ex’s abuse and death threats. I was always searching parking lots before stopping at stores, looking over my shoulders, put in an alarm system, etc….Always in fear.. but nothing helped until God told me to move away from there and showed me that He protects me. and then He healed me of it. God rescues, He protects, He heals… He is an Almighty God and He loves the broken… My counselors told me that I had to learn to live with the PTSD.. But God knew better. Pray Psalm 91 everyday. God protects! I know…

      • Psalm 91 is beautiful! But I have a hard time believing that God will protect me from everything because so much has already happened to me from childhood through now. I was a believer since I was a little kid and have been born again since I was a teenager and have prayed to God daily and begged for help with the marriage and other abuses from my father (when I was younger) and even abuse from kids at school! I was an abuse magnet! So I believe that God does not always protect us from bad stuff, but “all things work out for good for those that are called…” So, now I can witness to other abuse victims and be of other help because of what I have gone through. This is sometimes the will of God– to help us go through a bad time(s) so that we can “turn and help someone else with the same help that God has given us.” (in 1 Corinthians somewhere) I feel privileged to be able to help other people and have had the joy of witnessing to others and talking with a few abuse sufferers. I know God loves all of us no matter what is happening and that is my reassurance that God will use it all for good. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope I don’t sound like too much of a wet blanket, because I don’t mean to be. God is Great! And he can save and protect us from anything.

      • I totally agree with you and feel free to express any thoughts or feelings here. I want this to be a safe place for anyone to come to visit. And yes, God does allow us to go through bad things in life. Look what Jesus suffered. But I feel that there is a direct relationship with the degree of brokenness and pain that we suffer and the degree of blessings that will come as we learn the secret to overcoming our traumas and obstacles in this life It is like we become catapulted into an intimate relationship in Him when we seek that place in Him, the secret place spoken about in Psalm 91. That place is deep inside of each of us. All that I can tell you is that I hid in God crying out to Him, proclaiming the promises of Psalm 91 and the deliverance of The Lord’s Prayer. The Lord showed up for me and though it was not an easy path, and still is not, I know that He is there for me and I hold onto Him daily. Now I have heard of stories of the miracles of Psalm 91 and I proclaim that protection over my family. Intimacy with God is the Key to having the favor of God in your life. Many, many blessing to you my friend…

  15. One of the most frightening days of my life was shortly after we left my ex… I received a phone call that someone saw a vehicle similar to his driving towards where I was living with my mom. It was early in the morning, we lived out in the country, I grabbed my three little kids and we jumped in the car in our pajamas and drove around for 2 hours. When I finally said I had to go home as I turned into our driveway toward the end of a long dirt road a green minivan the same year, make, and model came around the corner just down from us near the dead end. I literally peed my pants. Peace comes, but with time and separation, and prayer and it is only that kind that is provided by God and is truly incomprehensible by my human mind at times. I’m grateful for it though! Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts, it is the willingness to share of people who have lived it that helps people living it realize they don’t have to and find the courage to get out.

    • I totally understand and ran in fear myself with my children after received a very real, explicit death threat. Fear like that is indescribable. Living in that level of fear is unbelievable to others who have not experienced it. I am so sorry that you have lived with that fear but so glad that God is healing you. Yes, healing can be very slow depending on how God wants to do it but it is always with His purpose in mind. Mine was very slow over time as well. But He had a plan and I just walk in obedience to what He wants me to do .. Many blessings to you..

      • Amen! He uses all things for His purposes and good. I never thought I would be “grateful” in a way for the abuse but without it I would not be who I am, I wouldn’t appreciate my amazing husband now and I would not be able to minister to women in the way He has blessed and equipped me to!

      • Amen… That is exactly right.. but I am still waiting on my new amazing husband. Thanks for your encouragement and support as we both reach out to victims of abuse as the Lord leads…

  16. Pingback: FEAR, PTSD, and the Abused Woman (Part 1 of Fear) (2 Tim. 1:7) | Word From The Street

  17. Yes, it is uber sad when the ones that are supposed to love you are the ones you fear the most. It sends mixed signals. When I allowed people to belittle me and said “nothing”, I affirmed their behavior by coming around them again. So, I have had to learned to distance myself from people who don’t like me, JUST AS I AM, even if THEY don’t, God does and His Son carries my pain

    • Amen… You are so right. Distancing ourselves from people who attack us in any form is the healthy thing to do. Negativity tears a person down and we are all children of God, not deserving to be belittled…Blessings to you…

      • I will add you to my prayer list. All people are not evil. I read in a book: “There’s a little bit of bad in the best of us and a little bit of good in the worst of us.” A person must establish boundaries and people should respect that boundary.

      • I totally agree, in fact most people are good. A picture always comes to my mind of a child with a little angel on one shoulder whispering in his ear and a little devil in the other ear. We all face temptations every day… it just depends on how we act on these and which route we choose. When I accepted in my heart that my ex was just listening to those wrong voices because of his past abuses, it really helped me to forgive him… remember forgiving does not mean forgetting. But forgiving, distancing myself, and holding onto God was what I did as God healed me of the PTSD. Thanks for your support and prayers and may God bless you!!!

  18. Your description of PTSD is very accurate and clear. I hope a lot of people get to read it so they will have an “ah-ha” moment and understand what is going on with them.

    Yesterday I was at my first physical therapy session, it is for my torn left rotator cuff in my shoulder. (I tor it while going through a hard closing door in my wheelchair!) Unfortunately, the therapist is a man. He is kind of cute and friendly. But, while he was manipulating my shoulder to help re-stretch out the tendons, I started shaking. I tried real hard to hide it, I was embarrassed. He didn’t say anything about it. I think it was a reaction of my PTSD to having a guy cause me mild pain and tension in the tendons. Also he was holding my arm and I felt helpless and tense. He kept telling me to relax my arm and let him hold it. Inside I was getting tenser and tenser, I was very relieved when he was done, even though some of what he did actually felt good. I felt tense even afterwords. When I was outside waiting for the taxi, I kept looking around me and felt unsafe, like someone was going to get me. Vulnerable.

    • Yes, I totally understand how you feel.. that vulnerability and having to trust someone, even if it is a therapist. Then that fear creeps in again… So many can’t understand because they haven’t lived through it. It seems irrational to most but little things like that become triggers to those of us who have lived with it. I have just had to learn over the years as I developed my relationship with God to pray about every step that I take, every person that I let into my life, everything that i do, that God will be with me, guiding my path and protecting me. There is a sense of peace that you get when you know that you have angels guarding over you to protect you. I pray that the peace of the Lord will encompass you that you will feel the consuming love of His presence and a peace that you will know that it is not of this world but of our Loving Father holding you where all fear is gone…In Jesus’ name, Amen. May God bless you and I will be praying for you!!!

  19. Pingback: HE LIFTS US UP– Fight or Flight? it goes back to Fear (Part 2 of Fear/PTSD) | ChristianBlessings

  20. Pingback: HE LIFTS US UP– FEAR NO MORE (Part 3 of Fear) (Isaiah 41:10 NKJV) | ChristianBlessings

  21. Thank you,thank you,thank you for your blog and all of the posts! I am unable to go back to work from PTSD and other effects of violence against me! I was crying so much while reading the blog tonight as I stumbled upon it, identifying with it all. Just a few verses that came to me as I prayed and searched tonight for answers!Maybe it can bring some comfort to others as it did to me! Psalm 72: 14 He(Jesus) will redeem their lives from oppression and fraud and violence, and precious and costly shall their blood be in His sight. Psalm 18: 47+ 48.The God who avenges me and subdues peoples under me. Who delivers me from my enemies; yes You lift me up above those who rise up against me; You deliver me from the man of violence.
    Psalm 19:7 The Law of the Lord (His Word) is perfect,restoring the whole person
    God delivers us from our enemies and raises us up so high that they won’t be able to reach us! He restores (makes us even better than before) our whole person! Body,soul and spirit!

    • Amen!! You got it Isabel! God is the answer for everything. He is the Key to this life and every thing that we go through. As we proclaim His word, He will do the work! He will rescue us, rebuild us, restore us, deliver us… everything that we pray for and make us better and stronger than before as we learn to totally trust Him and walk in faith. Many blessings to you my friend. I am sorry that you have gone through all of these traumas in your life.. but just remember, God heals and restores. He has healed me of my PTSD and we proclaim you healed in Jesus’ name. Fear can not stay and must flee in the Mighty name of Jesus. Hold onto God and remember… He did not give you a spirit of fear, but of Power, love, and a sound mind… Blessings to you my new friend!!!

  22. Reblogged this on Financial Abuse is Domestic Violence and commented:
    In honor of Domestic Violence awareness I wanted to share this blog because its how I’ve spent the last 18 months of surving since the abuse. Knowledge is power and for along time I didn’t even understand what it was I was experiencing. Now I do and I hope this will help anyone who needs it.
    Thank you Secret Angel for expressing feelings and thoughts that I can’t by myself.
    **Part of the damage to the abuse is that I sometimes can’t find the words, or I can’t clearly express what I want to say.
    Thanks to all those who support survivors of any form of abuse.

    • Hi Joicelizabeth!! So good to hear from you. You are so right! Knowledge is power! Too many do not even know what abuse really is, much less the effects of abuse. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I totally understand how you feel about having difficulty expressing yourself. I found that I was so fearful of saying something wrong and getting berated for it that I actually made more mistakes and could not find the words to say. My fear of speaking compounded my communication errors. That’s what abuse does. But I have to say… You sound so much stronger!!! It is evident that you are overcoming your past. Keep holding onto God!! The one who created you is most definitely able to put all your pieces back together. God bless you, my sweet sister!!!

  23. This is a very powerful entry. Yet this reinforces one simple truth found in the bible …that when a man or husband loves his wife as himself …these things would not come up in a relationship because self control would be evident in both the man and the woman.

  24. Pingback: FEAR, PTSD, and the Abused Woman (Part 1 of Fear) (2 Tim. 1:7) | justiceforkevinandjenveybaylis

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