Keep Out Narcissistic Abusers! (unless you want to change)

Daily Prompt: Keep Out!

walking on egg shells

Who is the one person you hope isn’t reading your blog?


Well, I was thinking about this just last night. As I read over blog entries from those who have been abused, many bloggers are reluctant to put out too much information so that they will not be recognized by the details that are submitted. Writing under a fictitious name gives some secrecy to these victims of abuse, but when too many details are given, the people involved may possibly be able to identify the blogger and that situation that occurred.  Some of us hide our identities from our abusers. Some of us hide our identities from some family members who would not understand. However, blogging about the abuse helps with the healing process for each of us and encourages other victims to speak out about the abuse that happened to them.Victims would not speak out if they were not safe. You see, many of these abusers are narcissistic and do not even realize that they have a problem. They do not see that they are at fault for anything. They routinely blame someone else for everything that happens. They do not see themselves as abusive, blaming the victim instead… so what do you think could possibly happen if a narcissistic abuser identifies himself in a blog? If you have ever seen domestic violence, you will never want to see it again…

19 thoughts on “Keep Out Narcissistic Abusers! (unless you want to change)

  1. I wish I could agree with you on “If they are willing to change” They are somatic narcissist psychopaths. They don’t care about God even if they say they do. The psychopath thinks they are God. They lure you in, drain you emotionally, spiritually and financially and then move on. It’s the nature of the beast. If you try to rehabilitate them they resent you and they actually will despise you for attempting to. They are empty souls who feed off others souls like soul zombies. They have no empathy nor compassion and they are purely evil souls. They seek external thrills to make up for the dead soul they have. I do have a degree in psychology if you are wondering even though I’m a splicer.

    • Thanks. As you can probably see, I am not a counselor. I speak through my experiences as I was married to a narcissistic man who totally used and abused me, while blaming me 24/7 for everything. I know that he will probably never change, but for the sake of our children, I keep praying that he will change. I have to pray that all of these abusers out there will one day change for the sake of those that they will further victimize.
      I really appreciate your comments. Thanks for following.

      • I agree… I just keep praying for all victims and their abusers knowing that God can do anything.. Many of us have children with these narcissistic “soul zombies” and we don’t want our children like them! So, we need to keep praying…

      • It has to be one of the hardest and scariest things to know your children have a narcissistic “soul zombie” for a dad. Some of my sweetest and best friends suffer in this way and I am always praying for them and their children. Prayer does work because God can do anything.

      • Yes, God can… I keep praying for my children to be totally delivered from the strongholds that has their abusive dad in bondage. And you are right… These narcissist prey on the sweetest, kindness, most naive people that they can get.That is how they get away with it for so long and can manipulate their victims so much. These victims do not have this evil in their hearts and are so unsuspecting, totally trusting these controlling, manipulative narcissists. But God can save them, rescue them, and set them free…

      • It is a terrible situation for the children in these circumstances. You said it right, they need to be delivered from the strongholds that have the abuser in bondage. My friends children I am always worried for. I hope you find relief from the situation you find yourself in.

  2. One final thing from me on this subject, the somatic narcissistic psychopath doesn’t believe in God Jesus or any higher power. They believe they are God and thus anything they do is right. There are many types of psychopaths. Some play the role “The Poor Victim” mostly women do this role. I have a high IQ and received a degree in psychology but still I was fooled by one. They spread pain and destruction and leave their children. Check out this YouTube video “defense against a psychopath”. It is simple to understand and you can actually gain something from it. They are truly dead souls.

    • I really, truly appreciate this information. I just watched that entire video and WOW… there were so many things that they said that I could identify with regarding my ex. I always said that he could fool a “lie-detector” test but I had never heard it or seen it any place before this. So much of this is what I have experienced. My situation did not improve until I had a restraining order and could quit all contact with him, and moved away with my children with sole custody…
      I will continue to pray for my children because none of us want them like their dad..and the only thing that I can do for him from a distance is pray for him since he is the father of our children.. In fact, I will consider showing this video to my children since they are older now and need to understand what they are dealing with when they deal with their dad…. Thanks again for the information. Again, I am not a counselor. I just speak from the heart with what I have been given and what I have lived through, trying to provide support to other victims. I know that like many other bloggers, I do not want my ex to know about this blog. Once we are out of it,no one ever wants to open a door to violence again!!! Many blessing to you!!! Thanks again…

      • I hope you and your children are allowed to stay away for the violence and burden of abuse. It is so very distructive and hurtful. God bless you.

    • Abusers are clever and good at fooling people. They have to be in order to hide the abuse and blame the victim. They do seem to be the dead kind of soul that is past feeling.

  3. Pingback: Keep Out Narcissistic Abusers! (unless you want to change) | Gracious

  4. I just found your blog after you found mine, so I’m behind, but I like this post.

    My husband has actually been diagnosed with a personality disorder with 90% narcissistic and 90% obsessive compulsive traits. I have the 19 page report. It was *SO* eye opening. He was diagnosed after an assessment/testing process with a psychologist. He was also diagnosed with PTSD and mild bi-polar, and since you’ve read some of my blog, sex addiction.

    He was in denial for *so long*. But being assessed was like the nail in the coffin. We had about 7 more months of him completely teetering before finally falling completely flat on his face. Which…was sorely needed. It was his bottom.

    He’s not sociopathic mind you, but narcissistic. What more did he need for that other 10% was better self-esteem. Sad actually.

    However, my point is…he is WANTING to change, and has made great strides. He’s been in therapy with me and on his own. He has been attending 12-step meetings. He’s medicated for his bipolar now and has been really digging into his PTSD and abandonment issues.

    It has taken ME and will take me a long time to get over the emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. However, I do believe in him and that as long as he is willing, that he can change. If he decides he is no longer willing, I will no longer remain in the marriage.

    • I am so amazed at your story. Sexual addiction is not a topic many want to bring out into the open so I applaud you and your husband for your efforts… I am so glad that your husband is wanting to change and that both of you are wanting to save and restore your marriage. That is a key…”wanting to change”. Many, like my ex, even denied that they have a problem. Also, I see that you wrote about your husbands PTSD and abandonment issues. You see, I have written several times that abusers were once victims. That is how they learn these behaviors.. mostly by experience. We have to have compassion and empathy which is obviously what you have with your husband. Now, the next thing is that God has put it in my heart that He is raising up an army of overcomers to reach out and help other victims. You and your husband are helping many by speaking out. Pornography is a terrible addiction that leads to more victims of human trafficking which feeds into the pornography world. Your husband and others who overcome this pornography addiction would be instrumental in helping victims of human trafficking. I pray that God will bless you and your husband exceedingly and abundantly and raise you both up as a voice for the voiceless…

      • Thank you, I appreciate that.

        Sadly, I somewhat wish it had just been porn addiction, but he acted out sexually with multiple affairs as well. Prior to marriage, he used prostitutes overseas as well. So yes, talking about this brings knowledge.

        His abandonment issues stem from childhood, his father, who, also had affairs. It’s SO deeply rooted from childhood. I’m a victim of abuse as well, my biological father was a pedophile. What made my husband cope with sex and not me? I’m not exactly sure. However, we’re still learning this, as I too have deep issues I’m still overcoming as well. And, I’ve turned to inappropriate coping skills previously too.

        If we speak out, people can find freedom.

      • Yes.. God has rescued me from abuse and called me to speak out as well. I was perfectly happy in my little cocoon with God. Learning that both you and your husband were victims of infidelities and sexual abuses, I have to tell you that you need to learn about spiritual ties… Spiritual ties are passed down through generations and connect you to the spiritual roots of your past… so you got it.. you said “rooted from childhood”. God had to break the spiritual ties from me and my children so that the cycle of abuse would not continue to the next generation. Read Ephesians 6:11-17. I will be praying for you…

  5. Reblogged this on Set Free and commented:
    The thing that I dread most about blogging, is that my abusers will discover who I am! It’s just not safe for us to expose too much :-(.

    • Yes, you are right. We need to be careful when dealing with narcissistic abusers. That is why my blog and entire book is written under “Secret Angel” and not my real name. But then, it does not matter who I am. What matters is Who God is because He is our Protector. May He pour out His blessings upon you.

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