But He Has Never Actually Hit Me…

This is so true! This abuse is destructive even without the physical abuse. The physical abuse only gives the outward proof, but the others are just as damaging with wounds that are invisible to the naked eye. But God sees all wounds…

Many Small Voices: Speaking out about domestic abuse


This is one of the phrases that victims of domestic abuse regularly say. ‘He did this, he did that, he took my children, he told me I was mad, a bitch, stupid, incapable… But he has never actually hit me…’

The complete misconception that physical abuse is the only form of domestic abuse worth talking about is still frighteningly prevalent.

We at MSV feel very strongly that before anyone is ever hit, there are other forms of abuse, and often, never any physical abuse of any kind. Violence can be expressed in many, many different ways.

Victims of abuse are rarely aware that they are being abused. In a normal, healthy, loving relationship, there is a sharing. A sharing that is almost imperceptible. A sharing of ideas, opinions, responsibility and love.

In an abusive relationship, though it would first appear that this is happening, very, very slowly over time the…

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6 thoughts on “But He Has Never Actually Hit Me…

    • Hi Zulu… When I read this posting on Many Small Voices today, I knew that many needed to hear this. I could relate to so much of this even though I was hit once. The constant threats of being hit and shot were always there. It is this tearing down bit by bit that makes the victim so broken and vulnerable to other abuses. Many blessings to you my friend…

    • Thank you my friend for posting it. It is perfect to help more to understand effects of abuse. That is one reason why I did not even realize that I was abused. The bruises were not visible… Thanks again!

  1. I have said those exact same words every time I describe him. The thing is, I never actually told anyone when it happened and now it’s too late. I am fighting him in court, he has the police in his pocket and he’s obviously paying people off to take my children. The police actually looked down at me because I never reported it. They couldn’t understand how a woman whose husband has friends in the police department, wouldn’t make a report. Seriously, I would never tell the police again.

    • I totally understand what you are saying. My ex was an ex cop and they were all his friends. After a death threat, one even told me to leave him alone. So Wrong!!! They believed his lies. But there is One who knows all truth… I pray that God will protect you and your children. I pray that all that was done in darkness will be brought to the Light and that you will be vindicated. God rescued me and I pray that He will give you Divine favor… Just keep praying and I will be praying for you too, my friend!

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