Domestic Violence Day 17: Marital Rape or Spousal Rape

For October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am continuing a series on the various abuses. Now, I will proceed with the next abuse: Marital Rape or Spousal Rape.

Yesterday, I posted a information on the subject of RAPE at Domestic Violence Day 16: RAPE..

Today, I want to do something different for this topic of marital rape. According to RAINN, “Marital rape occurs when your spouse forces you to have sex without your consent. It is a form of intimate partner violence where one spouse attempts to establish dominance and control over the other. Research shows it is possibly more emotionally and physically traumatizing than rape by a stranger.” Now, in the last 30 years, laws have been passed to make this illegal but it is very rarely prosecuted.

Since most of the marital rape information is the same as the regular rape information, I want to include a simple poem about marital rape…

These words just echo…
I said NO!! NO!!
But he yelled SILENCE!
and I saw his violence.
I cried STOP!
But he was angrily on top.
I saw his anger
and felt the danger.
He had no control…
like Satan consumed his soul.
Who was this evil man?
Surely not my husband!
But who would ever know?
I had no place to go!
Confused and terrified…
I just cried and cried.
Is this what marriage is like,
when we became man and wife?
Did he have that right,
to attack me with his might?
He stole my innocence,
with that act of violence.
But he was the man I loved…
so I cried out to God above.
But fear kept me paralyzed…
and took me years to realize.
Everyone has to know!!!
Even a wife can say NO!!

Everyone has a right to say no. No means stop! No means No! No spouse should use violence in a loving, caring,  and nurturing relationship. Remember, rape is not about sex. It is all about power and control. Rape can occur even if you are married!


17 thoughts on “Domestic Violence Day 17: Marital Rape or Spousal Rape

  1. That is what my ex-husband (of 14 years and 2 kids) did to me on our wedding night. I wanted him to be gentle and go slow, but he just jumped on me. It wasn’t loving at all. He never did figure out how to be loving and sweet about it. When I said anything about how I wanted him to act and things to do, He just got irritated/mad and did what he wanted anyway. It always felt more like an attack. I wish I had been less accepting of his behavior. But I was trying to be a “good wife”.

    • I totally understand. This violent attack happened to me within 2 months of marriage and was the first time that I saw his rage with total lack of control… He controlled me at that point.

  2. Thank you so much for posting this – my experience was also from my wedding night onwards – it took 5 long years for me to realise that it wasn’t God’s heart for me to stay, but even now, so few people are aware of the trauma that you can go through – sadly even in the church. So thank you. Testimonies of rescue need to be shared to give others hope 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your encouraging words. The violence in my marriage started at about 2 months but other marital rapes start on wedding nights. It was very traumatic. Violence steals your innocence. Where you once felt secure, it opens a door to a world that you never expected. Thanks again for your encouragement and you are so right, testimonies of rescue need to be shared. I feel God’s heart is for the rescue of these victims around the world and I feel that we are both part of His Army. Blessings to you Pia!!

  3. Reblogged this on beautifulsilliness and commented:
    Secret Angel is an amazing blog resource if you need support, to know where to go, or just to be affirmed in the fact that God still has a plan – her post today is an issue that more people need to be aware of and that the church needs to teach more on. God’s heart is a Rescuer! 🙂

  4. Pingback: The Monster Within… | The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

  5. Pingback: Marital rape still somewhat legal in the USA | Dear Kitty. Some blog

  6. Pingback: Domestic Violence Awareness Day 31: The Unofficial Survey | The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

  7. Pingback: HE LIFTS US UP: The Monster Within | ChristianBlessings

  8. Pingback: Domestic Violence Day 17: Marital Rape or Spousal Rape | Madison Elizabeth Baylis

  9. Pingback: Domestic Violence Day 17: Marital Rape or Spousal Rape | The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

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