Warning Signs of Abuse

With so many becoming victims of the various abuses, sometimes we just need to post reminders of the warning signs to help people identify the signs and  avoid these abusive relationships. Remember that many abusers can be very deceitful with their words, but their actions will speak louder than their words. Watch how they act. Do not be deceived.

Warning Signs of Abuse

The following questions ask you about your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, these are signs or “red flags” to assist people in identifying a potentially abusive person.

  • Do you feel nervous around your partner?
  • Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid your partner’s anger?
  • Do you feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex?
  • Are you scared of disagreeing with your partner?
  • Does your partner criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?
  • Is your partner always checking up on you or questioning you about what you do without your partner?
  • Does your partner repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people?
  • Does your partner tell you that if you changed, he or she wouldn’t treat you like this?
  • Does your partner’s jealousy stop you from seeing friends or family?
  • Does your partner make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate?
  • Has he/she ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?
  • Does he/she say, “I will kill myself if you break up with me” or “I will hurt/kill you if you break up with me”?
  • Does he/she make excuses for the abusive behavior? For example: saying, “It’s because of alcohol or drugs,” or “I can’t control my temper,” or “I was just joking”?
  • Do they check your cell phone or email without permission?
  • Do they constantly put you down?
  • Do they exhibit extreme jealousy or insecurity?
  • Do they  have an explosive temper?
  • Do they isolate you from family or friends?
  • Do they make false accusations?
  • Do they have mood swings?
  • Have they physically hurt you in any way?
  • Do they exhibit possessiveness?
  • Are they always telling you what to do?

You do not deserve to be abused. Create a safety plan or call someone to talk about your relationship. You may also want to contact the police or a local domestic violence center or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE.









40 thoughts on “Warning Signs of Abuse

  1. I would definitely warn young women especially to heed these words and to listen to their intuition and avoid abusive relationships.I know because i wish i had listened to my intuition a year ago with this same problem.Blessings

    • I totally understand. I wish I had listened to mine many years ago. I pray that many heed the warning signs and learn from the mistakes of others. God bless you!!

  2. Reblogged this on aTexasMist and commented:
    May I add?:

    they will deny any injustice they do to you

    They will masterfully try to convince you that you have “issues”, that YOU’RE the one with the problem

    Have you EVER felt fearful of your life?

    Do they force you to discuss matters when you may be trying to calm down?

    They will also try to turn family and friends on you…

    They may or may not exhibit all of the things listed in The Abuse Expose Secret Angels blog … But these are very accurate warning signs. I wish I had read this years before!

    PLEASE heed the warning signs. If you or someone you know, are in an abusive relationship, you may contact me. Your “secret” is safe with me.

  3. Keep me in your prayers. I finally after (24 yrs of marraige) had the courage to leave. This is the second time, so there are warning signs inside myself I have to watch out for… The feelings of “he will change”, “our children need their father” and more. I know the struggle will be real. I am left alone to work and manage our family business… But I am determined. Determined to no longer be a recipient of his insanity. I have my all, and nearly died trying. He isn’t worth it.

    • I totally understand. I was married for almost that long and lived with the wrath of his anger, always thinking that he would change. The typical cycle of abuse. But the cycle has to be broken for you, your children and future generations sake. I will be praying for you, my sister…

      Dear Lord, I lift up my sister here to You. I ask You to give her the strength that she needs to walk this path with total healing from all of the hidden wounds of abuse. Restore to her what the enemy has stolen and fill her with the Peace and Joy that can only come from You. Orchestrate her steps, surround her with Your army of angels, and pour Your blessings over her in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

  4. This is excellent. Thanks for sharing and I hope many will pay attention. Those red flag are there, attention has to be paid to them. Love is not always blind.

    • Thanks Sue… and you are so right. Love is not always blind. Many times we choose to stick our heads in the sand and pretend that all will be OK. Those red flags were waving for me but I chose to ignore them. Big mistake.

  5. This is a very good post, Angel! People need to know what to be aware of in their relationships and what could signal a need for action. By the way, I thank you for your support and messages regarding my blog! I am going to change a few thongs and stay on line…

    You are a great friend in the Lord. May your efforts always bring help to the brokenhearted and praise to the God of all!

    Steve 🙂

    • Praise God! I join many others and rejoice that God has changed your heart to remain with your on-line ministry. You give inspiration to many as you share God’s word, touching hearts every day. Thanks for all of your support. You are a friend and a blessing to many of us. 🙂

      • Thank you so much, Angel!

        You are an Angel, not only to me but to so many others out there in so many ways. You know I support you and your cause, and you always find time to support me!

        Be a blessing today, and enjoy your day. The Lord love and keep you safe always…


  6. Coming from a home with an abusive biological father I thought all these things were “normal and ok” that was until he beat my mom really bad and for the first time in my life I got down on my knees and asked God to help my mom leave him, I wasn’t even a Christian at that point I was only 7yrs old. That prayer He answered in a BIG way she did leave him and found an amazing man in the man who IS my dad, he along with Gods help saved my mom and made her the amazing strong woman she is today! Thank you for raising awareness on this I worry adult women still view most of those behaviours as ok or normal. God bless!

    • I am so sorry that you experienced this at such a young age. It is a huge problem that many women think that it is just normal behavior. Too many accept these abuses as normal and these abuses just lead to more and more being broken. God wants better for all of us.

      • Oh that’s ok, it’s made me the independent strong woman I am today! You are right, He does want better for us and if He were willing to affect or change our will there would be no more hurt of any kind in the world. But because He loves us He has given us our own free will. Bless you my beautiful soul sister!

      • That’s right. We all have a choice. However, this world would be so much better if we all lived by the “Golden Rule” to treat all like we would want to be treated.

    • Hi Sam. It is wounds deep within ourselves that cause us to react certain ways. You have been wounded like I have and many others. When we get healed and whole, then we are able to give wholeheartedly to another in a healthy relationship. We are all “works in progress”, my friend.

  7. While reading that list, all I could do was shake my head YES!! It’s amazing how many signs are there, that we just overlook as normal behavior or personality traits for the abusive person, in reality, there is nothing normal about it.
    What is even more important is that survivors spread their stories so that others understand that abuse is not necessarily JUST Physical.

    • Amen!! I totally agree with you. So many of us have ignored the warning signs only to suffer the consequences later. I pray that many will open their eyes and avoid these abusers who bring havoc into many lives… Thanks for your support. 🙂

  8. What is disconcerting about abuse it that most of the time the perpetrators are individuals trusted by the family. This makes the victim hesitate to report the crime for fear of destabilizing the family relationship.
    Parents and other guardians, if the kid says uncle so and so touched me, you better pay attention before it is too late!!!
    Thank you for the blog. Keep up the good work!!

    • I totally agree. Parents need to listen and act. Too many children live in fear and when they finally say something, they are ignored. I pray for the protection of all children and that these abusers will be exposed… I really appreciate your support.

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