DV Awareness: Sticks and Stones and Words Hurt

So many of us have been raised with the false words of the famous rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.” This is so untrue. Words hurt more than most people realize and inflict wounds on the souls of many from youth to adults…

Sticks and stones…
may break your bones…

but words won’t hurt you…
has NEVER been true.

FOR many words spoken…
can make you broken…

making cuts on your soul…
so you won’t be whole.

And many don’t know…
for the wounds don’t show…

and many don’t care…
as their own words impair.

But words do stab…
with an emotional gab…

landing hits unseen…
in an abusive scene.

And this abuse must stop…
as these words just chop…

leaving wounds behind…
and stealing peace of mind.

But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.  Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” James 3:8-10

© Secret Angel and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel, 2014.

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18 thoughts on “DV Awareness: Sticks and Stones and Words Hurt

  1. Reblogged this on club east: indianapolis and commented:
    The labels were brutal for me. They were what I took into my heart when I was young and changed the way I viewed myself long before the abuse began. And it was more difficult to overcome the emotional damage than it was the physical damage.

  2. It seems that in tests, the same parts of the brain light up when being physically hurt as when being emotionally hurt. So for the body words, neglect and sticks and stones have the same effect. And abuse physically changes parts of the brain of children. The book ‘get sober, stay sober’ from Cynthia Perkins has a few chapter on this AND the relation between abuse and addiction.

    • I totally understand this. The wounds from emotional abuse are just as deep as physical abuse…down to our spirits and souls where only God can see them. I will have to look this book up. Thanks for sharing!! God bless you!

      • It is a very informative book though some parts meet me as ‘written in anger’. If you are very much into AA you might want to armour your heart a little when reading the first chapter. She is pretty outspoken about her personal dislikes. But for the rest; very informative.

      • Actually, I am not into AA but I would love to read about the study that you were talking about. AA is a very good program for many but what I don’t like about it is that you are labeled… “once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic”. I believe that God wants more for all who have addictions for His Word is clear that He came to set the captives free. That includes freedom from addictions. There is power in words spoken and I would prefer that we can all declare that we are free and addicted no more, in Jesus Name. AA helps to get many to a point but God is the Key to totally overcoming. May God pour out His blessings upon you, my friend!!

      • Interesting point of view. I am not religious, but my (very young) sobriety evolves around freedom as well. I am happy that I freed myself from drinking. Funny thing is that I do not know if I am addicted now, or not. I do not have cravings. But I am guessing I am addicted because ‘everybody always repeats the once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic’.

        So if you say freedom from addiction. Does that men that you can ‘drink like a normie and not have problems’ or does that mean that you are not interested in alcohol anymore? Or …. something else?

      • Well, I can tell you that I was married to an alcoholic… and yes, I drank with him. When we divorced and I turned to God, all desire for an alcoholic beverage was gone for me. I saw the anger and violence that rose out of him when he was drinking. Alcohol was a trigger for a total loss of control and I never wanted to allow that back into my life. God became my Strength… not him or alcohol. It’s all a matter of choice and we have to chose Who or what we will follow every day. God bless you, my friend!!

      • 🙂 Looks like you have chosen well. And I am happy that you were able to choose. I am not entirely sure that what I would call ‘real addicted people’ have a choice. But I’m still trying to figure out how I perceive this. What I find remarkable is that a lot of recovering of alcohol dependency has to do with taking a stand in ‘choice or not’ and ‘physical or mental disease’. I wonder why that is. Obviously alcohol dependency is not as clear as a broken leg but I feel it has a lot to do with how people perceive themselves.

        I also found that while drinking, I would drink less on evenings following real contact with people.

        I am new to this, and still trying to work things out. May I ask: did you have cravings and beat those or more like no cravings after you made your choice? Like I experienced, only about 7-8 weeks on the sober road but, well, that’s how it is for now.

      • I am so amazed at your story and your strength! Only 7-8 weeks out and your are not craving any. That’s awesome.You brought up alcohol dependency and a broken leg. They are similar in that they both deal with brokenness. Whether a leg or our souls, when something is broken, we reach for things to fix it… whether a doctor or a bottle. Remember this feeling right now of not craving any and stand strong. When we give into temptation, it only opens the door to have more. While you are not craving, do not take a sip again and you will have beat it. Just one sip and the door to addiction is open again. True change comes from transformation… a transformation of our minds… that is where it all starts. Declare that you are an overcomer and stand strong in your belief. I pray that God will strengthen you in your journey and use you to help many others!!

      • 🙂 Thank you! And that is exactly the reminder I needed because today I was feeling cocky. Thinking: if it is this easy I might as well have another sip – see if it really is that bad. No fuss, just drink like a normie and get on with my life. Not good. I know it is a Big Trap.

        I am not sure it is strength that I use when dealing with alcohol. I actually doubt it because I do not have cravings for alcohol. Or, as in the above trap, had not recognised them as such. I am a bit baffled by it though, feels like I wasted at least 3 years of my life while quitting was way easier than I thought. Though I keep on forgetting the enormous ‘brainwash’ I did on me. But I could do that because I had reached my bottom and the life forces that sprang up were are enormous. Wild, very wild and powerful. I used that to get my brainwash done to disliking alcohol. And I use supplements like vitamin B complex and omega 3 etc. to counter all kinds of effects alcohol had on my body and reduce cravings. So I don’t know if I use strength now, I did use my rock bottom well I guess. But we shall see. I’ve only been out here for a short while. 🙂

      • ha ha I love free style…maybe not gangster rap…but yeah…ha ha…When all my husband and I start doing music together again maybe I’ll try that…I’ve never tried it before…might be interesting for an open mic night at a tea of coffee shop 🙂

  3. Pingback: DV Awareness: Sticks and Stones and Words Hurt | justiceforkevinandjenveybaylis

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