The Trauma of Abuse

As October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to a end, I want to share one of the last things that was discussed in a conference recently. Many victims can not remember all that happened or what was said when they experienced the abuses in their lives. But there is a reason… and sadly, many decisions in the courts are based on what victims can recall. More education needs to be done regarding the effects of abuse and domestic violence upon it’s victims. Lives depend on it…

The trauma of abuse…
negatively affects the brain.
And it’s for this reason…
that some memories are not retained.
Like being strangled or raped…
or abused in many ways…
our brains may block some memory…
so victims can survive each day.
But judges make decisions…
based on what victims can recall…
but when brains are traumatized…
victims can’t remember it all.
And some memories are distorted…
and may seem out of place…
as victims try to recall events…
but some are lost without a trace.
So Lord,
for these victims we pray…
for their total healing…
and their freedom one day.
That they will remember…
with a precise recall…
and be empowered to testify…
against abuse once and for all.
That no abusers…
will be unfairly cleared…
while their poor victims…
continue to live in fear.

© Secret Angel and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel,  2015.

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31 thoughts on “The Trauma of Abuse

      • Thank you. I am okay with not remembering and no justice, I will leave that to God and get on with my life as best I can, the past is over, I survived, a little damaged but I will carry on and rebuild the life I want and be grateful for the opportunity. I have no desire for revenge or justice, lessons learned, over and over, letting go was the best one.

      • Amen!! You have not only survived… you have thrived. So many victims remain stuck in the “rut” of abuse and can’t seem to move forward. You, my friend, have succeeding in overcoming you past and walking into your future. God bless you!!

      • It is easy to remain stuck and I thank you for your kind words. It does get better and you have thrived as well. I really enjoy your optimistic and informative approach to the subject and I think developing our sense of spirituality does give us great strength when we don’t see change happening as fast as we would like. Everything in the perfect way, at the perfect time, according to the Universe, but only if we ask, which many forget to do. Each day presents a new journey and new changes and challenges, we are finally living our lives, we just have to be present to realize how far we’ve come and that the uncomfortable times won’t kill us. Have a beautiful day thank you for your efforts!

      • Amen!! We are born for such a time as this with God’s plan and purpose for each of our lives. We just have to realize that He is the Key to overcoming all of those obstacles that we face in this life. Thanks again and many blessings to you!

  1. …..as one (survivor) – the abuser telling you that it didn’t happen over and over – toying with the emotions – for years – withholding affection, neglect on just being treated like a human with thoughts, feelings and a right to peace for many years – does have it’s affect. It is mental warfare and part of oneself shuts down to survive battle mode …..the wake up outside of this environment is no less painful and yet – there are holes and patches in one’s memory for sure….but most certainly – the scars of being told – time and again – that ‘it’ whatever that looks like never happened – one begins to question themselves….wasn’t that the strategy after all?

    • Yes, so many of us begin to think that we are “crazy” … but we are most definitely not. It’s a tactic of the abusers and I pray that more judges will come to realize the effects of trauma on victims and also discern the lies of the abusers. God bless you, my “suthrn-sister”

      • Yes, I pray that they (in authority) will come to realize this. It is very hard to explain to someone who hasn’t endured it, even family members – seem to act in disbelief. It can seem far fetched but I can assure you in most cases – it is very real. To label anyone even after learning what someone has been through- is just plain distressing. God bless you also “angel” ! 🙂

  2. I didnt talk about it until I was in my 50 s because of how he would choke,threaten verbally and also inflict pain to enforce my silence. Also the way they seem to appear in plain sight as if they have all the power and you can do nothing to stop them.

    • I totally understand Nessa. It is that fear that they instill in us that makes us feel inferior. We give them the control over us as we fear their responses and reactions. So many of us live with these abuses until something finally stops the silence. Abusers do not want to be exposed for that is where their power lies. God bless you.

  3. Pingback: The Trauma of Abuse | Madison Elizabeth Baylis

  4. Pingback: The Trauma of Abuse | The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

  5. Eye opening. I wouldn’t want someone who is abused to remember all the details either…this is something we must remember when dealing with victims pastorally, as counselors and those in Law Enforcement.

    • Yes, I agree with you. The trauma of abuse causes deeper wounds than most people, even professionals, truly realize. More and more education needs to be done to help these victims.

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