Getting Angry — Through The 5 Stages of Grief

Image result for anger and the 5 stages of grief and loss

Getting angry…
is a stage we all need to go through.
But like many victims…
it’s not something I like to do.
For there are 5 stages of grief…
that we all need to overcome…
but when we get trapped in a stage…
then there’s delays in others to come.

But many victims of abuse…
have been conditioned for anger not to show.
So they push back their anger…
for their abusers not even to know.
They stay in prolonged denial…
of the hopes and dreams they did possess…
as they live a life of abuse…
and through the stages they seem to regress.

For Denial, Anger, and Bargaining…
are the first stages we see.
Then Depression and Acceptance…
as we work through the finality.
But if we get stuck in one level…
and can’t get out of that stage…
is when we see continued denial…
depression or even anger escalating to rage.

But going through each stage…
is important to work through our grief…
for what we hoped for and loss…
gets entangled in either belief or disbelief.
For we can accept it or not…
and through all obstacles overcome…
or we can stay trapped in a stage…
which unfortunately happens to some.

Now as I look back over years…
and what truly happened to me…
I would not get angry at him…
but mostly turned my anger inwardly.
And after years of abuse…
and all the negative that was spoken…
I believed the lies and manipulations…
that resulted in me being broken.

So my message to you today…
is allow yourself to grieve.
Go through all the stages of loss…
and for a better future you must believe.
For God has better plans for you…
to give you a future and a hope.
So hold onto Him as you grieve…
and overcome the 5 stages as you cope.

© Secret Angel and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel, 2016.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Advertisements

22 thoughts on “Getting Angry — Through The 5 Stages of Grief

    • Yes, going through these stages is not easy. I know that I stayed in some stages far too long… but we can just take one day at a time and keep pushing through to overcoming. God bless you!

  1. Yes, getting angry was actually hard for me to do. I had lost my voice and felt it was wrong to be angry. But a righteous anger can often pave the way to healing. Thanks for this post!

  2. Pingback: Getting Angry — Through The 5 Stages of Grief | justiceforkevinandjenveybaylis

  3. I immediately went into the denial stage. “This can’t be. It just can’t be.” Then came the depression. I skipped the anger, the bargaining and acceptance. I will never reach acceptance.
    I have been stuck in the depression state for 11 years.

    • Hi Laurel!! Yes, that denial stage got me too… but after 20 years of marriage, it is hard not to be in denial after ignoring problems or being deceived for years. Then the depression– so many of us fall into a deep pit that we can’t easily climb out of. I also skipped the anger stage, not allowing my self to be angry with him. I think that I w0uld have gotten through it much sooner if I would have allowed myself to just get angry… very angry… instead of just being so hurt.

      • Yep….it was forty years for me. I too, wish I had gotten angry. Even my own daughter said “why don’t you slap the shit out of him?” I said “because he has slapped me….and it hurts.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s