For the entire month of October, I have been posting information about the different abuses. As this month comes to an end, I want to post some warning signs of abuse. If any of you experience these warning signs, seek assistance or counsel of a trained professional. I can tell you that I wish I would have talked to someone when I saw warning signs while dating.
Warning Signs of Abuse
The following questions ask you about your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, these are signs or “red flags” to assist people in identifying a potentially abusive person.
- Do you ever feel nervous around your partner?
- Is you partner quick to anger?
- Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid your partner’s anger?
- Do you feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex?
- Are you scared of disagreeing with your partner?
- Does your partner get mean when under the influence of alcohol?
- Does your partner criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?
- Does your partner criticize you and then say “just joking?”
- Is your partner always checking up on you or questioning you about what you do?
- Does your partner repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people?
- Does your partner tell you that if you changed, he or she wouldn’t treat you like this?
- Does your partner’s jealousy stop you from seeing friends or family?
- Does your partner make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate?
- Has your partner ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?
- Does your partner say, “I will kill myself if you break up with me” or “I will hurt/kill you if you break up with me”?
- Does your partner make excuses for the abusive behavior? For example: saying, “It’s because of alcohol or drugs,” or “I can’t control my temper,” or “I was just joking”?
- You do not deserve to be abused. Create a safety plan or call someone to talk about your relationship. You may also want to contact the police or a local domestic violence center or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE, even if it is just for information.