STALKING: 10 Things to Do When an Abuser Ignores Your NO

This is excellent advice from Diana Rasmussen. From experience, we can both tell you that being stalked is very frightening. Abuse is all about control and manipulation, and abusers never want to give up control even with a restraining order telling them to leave you alone. I thought it was so romantic when I was told the very first night that I met my “future husband and abuser” that he knew so much about me… and had always wanted to meet me… Wrong!! It is not romantic if someone has been keeping tabs on you from a distance. This should be a Big Red Warning Sign to anyone!!!

10 Things to Do When an Abuser Ignores Your NO (via Prayers and Promises)

I have recently been reminded of the fear that returns when you are being stalked.  This is part of my story that I haven’t shared yet.  After separating from an Abuser it is the most dangerous time for a woman who has been in an abusive relationship…

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FEAR… A “Thriller” to Some or a New Reality Show for Abuse Victims

Fear is the topic that keeps coming to my mind lately. Maybe it’s the recent “Halloween” where many seem to be excited to “play” with the demonic world or it’s because of triggers that occasionally happen bringing fear or worry. Many people love to watch “thrillers” or “horror” movies where they sit on the edge of their seat and get some kind of “thrill” or excitement with being scared. However, I can tell you that when you have lived with real fear, you don’t want to play with it. When you have run for your life in fear, you don’t find anything fun with fear.

Many abused women live in fear for the next violent outburst. Many have run for their lives and do not want to watch shadows lurking in the darkness or someone waiting to jump out at them… because they have lived it. It brings it to a new reality when someone really is wanting you dead or has threatened you before and you know their potential for violence. You see, once you have witnessed a person that you love transform into a violent or demonic personality, you really never want to see it again… but you never know when it may happen. Just like we who have been abused have “triggers” that instantly bring fear or uncontrolled crying, these abusers have triggers that set them off into their violent mode. Now, I can tell you that it is not fun to watch and is definitely terrifying.

So many people don’t understand this FEAR… because they have never seen real violence and experienced real fear. Many people gather around weekly to watch reality shows on TV. Maybe instead of watching these famous people live these outrageous lives, someone needs to do a reality show following victims of abuse in the shelters around the world who have run for their lives in fear with only the clothes on their backs. Now, you will never get the abusers to admit that they are violent, but so many similar stories of violence should bring more reality to the plight of the abused. Many women and children have nothing after running from the person who should be protecting them. Their fear is real. Their situations are real. Maybe someone out there should make this a new reality show. It may bring domestic violence to a new level of awareness.

Domestic Violence Day 14: Stalking

For October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am continuing a series on the various abuses. Now, I will proceed with the next abuse: Stalking

To begin, I will provide a simple definition of stalking…

Stalking is an unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person. It is a form of harassment. It is also a form of intimidation. It involves the willful and repeated monitoring, watching, or following of a  victim in person or electronically through cyberspace with internet or phone capabilities. Continue reading